So far it seems that my summer has been quite unproductive. I have moved home, reorganized my room about 5 times, made it about halfway through two books, allotted a good 20 hours of watching cspan2. This I don't start work until Monday and it has been quite an interesting and irritating journey on that to this point, being at an impasse were I have no control of what happens, and have no sight on what could possibly happen... Its been frustrating but realizing that I don't have control of my life; is something that has taken me the last 18 years (close to 19 now :D) to get into my thick skull that control is something I will never really have. Although I may long for it, and I may even believe I have it in my grasp at points I really don't.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll

As much as I hate to admit it, this quote hits me hard... Because that really is how it goes, we are all in control of our own attitudes, the one thing in life that we can control, the one thing that we need to have a total and complete grasp on. Everything is a chain reaction one falling domino effects the rest in its path. If we allow our attitude to have an attitude of its own it causes the rest of those domino's to fall, yet we cannot this pious event to happen. We must be in control of what we can... yet, with it being the one thing we are responsible for, why is it the one thing none of us want to have to control?

Sometimes I get to this point of denial, that my life means nothing in the greater effect of the world, a point where I take on this apathetic nature, allowing this "I am not in control of my own life, what I do changes nothing, why even try, no one is listening." How do I let my mind fall into this trap? Like I am Pooh, trapped in the honey pot once again. Never really realizing that every step I take, every time I raise this little voice, it creates a chain reaction that could one day change the tides and make the mountains move. Maybe someday I will actually be able to see the difference I make in the world, maybe not, maybe the world wont hear my voice until long past my expiration date. But yet I need to continue this journey, this path that I don't know where it leads, each day giving up my desire to be in control of something that I can not actually ever have. Maybe one of the traps is this site, it is the honey pot, I see the lack of comments and views and believe that these words are merely words that are wasted because they reach nearly no one... that my ability to change the world lays merely in the extent of my ability to use the verdana font...

All this flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside of my proper skin;
I talk of love - a scholar's parrot may talk Greek -
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

After a "favor" filled 22 years, last night, Republican and former House Majority Leader, Tom Delay said his final goodbye's to the US House of Congress.

In his usual fighting form, "The Hammer" gave another defiant speech, in which he defended conservatism and partisan politics. At one point even going as far as commenting on the recent confirmation of General Hayden as the new director of the CIA stating, "You show me a nation without partisanship, and I'll show you a tyranny."

In April DeLay announced his resignation from Congress after two of his former congressional aides pleaded guilty to the bribery charges in the Abramoff scandal. In which some of the reports in the scandal related to the DeLay led golfing trip to Scotland. DeLay contradicted himself in saying that he knew nothing of Abramoff's actions in any sort, yet DeLay describes him as "one of my closest and dearest friends", insisting that the charges were the result of a Democratic plot to remove him from office.

Despite being flagged multiple times by the House Ethics Committee, he was never red carded, although being scarred for the involvement in many scandals including:

Killing the investigation into labor abuse in the Marianna's Islands
Raising corporate cash for TRMPAC
Bribing Congressmen to vote for Medicare
Using taxpayer money for a partisan stunt
Blocking legislation for partisan vendetta
Left ethics behind on European vacation
Tried to change rules to protect power

Regardless of the many claims against him and the allegations that he was involved in risky business, he denies all counts of any involvement in these scandals and states that they were merely slander and defamation to remove him from office.

One of his opponents, representative Barney Frank, a Democrat from Massachusetts; states how even though he loathes DeLay's politics, he respects his political skills. The Republicans almost never lost floor votes when he was around; if necessary, he would hold votes until he could bully and sweet-talk enough lawmakers into taking his side. "But I think like a lot of true believers who get convinced of the righteousness of their ends, he got in trouble with some of the means."

To the end of his career he never stopped fighting for what he wanted, for what he believed was right, whether it got him into the deep end or not, nor did he ever regret taking the actions that he took.

"I have scraped and clawed for every vote, every amendment, for every word of every bill that I believed in my heart would protect human freedom and defend human dignity, and given the chance to do it all again, there's only one thing I'd change, I'd fight even harder." - Tom DeLay

He went out with a bang in his usual defiant manner and continued his farewell speech. A speech that caused many Republicans to stand in ovation, as well as one that caused many Democrats to walk out. Many Democratic politicians after the speech spoke, that they pray that now - since DeLay's "stranglehold" on the House has dissipated, that the voices of nearly half the country that have been silenced for the past 22 years, will now have a say in the legislative processes of this nation.